Guide to Defensive Dating

"Defensive dating" is like defensive driving. Think and plan ahead; be aware of what might possibly go wrong. That way, you can relax and enjoy yourself, without taking any unnecessary risks. This is a short guide to how to have fun safely.

• OxfordRomance.org.uk is very safe. We take security extremely seriously, and because we insist that people join with a valid Oxford University email address ('ox.ac.uk'),there is always an identity trail. This prevents abuse by anonymous strangers. Furthermore, we do keep logfiles and IP address records, so it's generally safer to meet people here than randomly in, for example, a theatre, bar or nightclub.
  
  
• Play it safe - be careful about the kind of information you give out - avoid revealing any personal details such as your email address, last name, or phone number to strangers. Be wary of giving out de-anonymising information via "social engineering".
  
  
• Don't believe everything you read - although we expect all members to use the service sensibly (those who do not will have their accounts deleted), the onus is on them to provide accurate information, and we have no way of checking unless you inform us. The vast majority of people are truthful and decent. However, a few are not.
  
  
• Be careful when arranging meetings - be sure you feel comfortable meeting the type of person you are chatting to. Always choose a public place with which you are familiar, or invite a friend to join you. Good meeting places include coffee shops, restaurants, the theatre, or a college. Car parks, fields, and airports are a bad idea!
  
  
• Tell someone you know where you are going and when you will be back. Consider setting up a code-word with someone whom you can call in case the date turns bad. This code word will alert your friend that you are in trouble or uncomfortable with the situation.
  
  
• Never leave a drink unattended and never allow your date to buy you a drink without your seeing it.
  
  
• In the unlikely event that something bad does happen, please tell us. That way, we can stop it happening to someone else. We will kick people off the site, and block them from returning. We take a very strong line on abuse or harassment. Please report such cases promptly.
  
  

To summarise: be wary, but don't be paranoid - have fun, but get to know the person in a public place first. We hope you enjoy OxfordRomance.org.uk.